I think I have come down to the reason why it has been so hard for me to write somethiing creative. The fact of the matter is that now that I have a job that entails me to write all day long, by the time I get home, I just dont want to write anymore. I want to do something, separate from that, something that will allow me to unwind.
And while I feel this a legitimate excuse, the crux is that it is just that...an excuse. When I wasn't writing all day long, I still couldn't write. So what is my deal. Why can't I just grab a notebook and sit down and write?
Maybe I just don't have the gift any more. I mean I will write because I have to..it is my job. But to write creatively, I think is gone. Sometimes I feel I no longer have the imagination I did as when I was a kid. I didn't care back then. I would just let my imagination go wild and write whatever fancy came to my brain.
However, now it is not that simple. My adult brain has taken over, full of it rationalizations and reasons why that will not work or that. How do I immerse myself back to the days where I would just write whatever, and let the rationalizations come later.
I do want to write. Sometimes, ideas will fill the head. One breakfast, as I sat eating my Special K, all of a sudden I had a whole scene in my head for a book idea I have been turning. Then another scene popped in and I thought, "wow this can really work." Of course, like a moron, I didn't write it down and when I sat down later, it just wasn't there.
I seem to have gotten lost somewhere and I can find my way back.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Writing Tools
Taking the advice of Natalie Goldberg, I have decided to experiment with writing tools and bought disposable fountain pens. I didn't want to buy an expensive one until i'm sure that it is the writing tool i want to use.
So far I have only written in my journal so far with it since I have not written anything. So far it is a good pen. It does write smoothly but I feel like it is the same as a gel pen just with a fountain pen design. So now I wonder how long the pen is going to last. Supposedly then last awhile but we shall see.
I also bought a notebook. Originally I had a composition notebook in my hand but then I wanted something spiral. Of course they didn't have college ruled in the 33 cent cheap notebooks but I could see myself paying $4 for a college notebook with a cute cover. So I bought the cheap one. After all its only going to be filled with junk.
Planning on doing some writing this weekend!
So far I have only written in my journal so far with it since I have not written anything. So far it is a good pen. It does write smoothly but I feel like it is the same as a gel pen just with a fountain pen design. So now I wonder how long the pen is going to last. Supposedly then last awhile but we shall see.
I also bought a notebook. Originally I had a composition notebook in my hand but then I wanted something spiral. Of course they didn't have college ruled in the 33 cent cheap notebooks but I could see myself paying $4 for a college notebook with a cute cover. So I bought the cheap one. After all its only going to be filled with junk.
Planning on doing some writing this weekend!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Shut Up and Write
Just finished Writing Down the Bones. I know that I said I was going to take one chapter at a time but it was impossible. It seemed that Goldberg knew me and knew how to answer all the questions that I had.
One of the biggest things she constantly brought up was how writers constantly use an excuse to do something other then write but she refused to give into these excuses. If you want to write, then write. Just pick up the pen and start writing. Who cares what it is. Shut up and write.
Although I never read the book before, I felt that I had. Answers that she wrote about in her book seemed so familiar to me but upon reflecting, I realized that I had been answering all these questions on my own. The questions about why I wanted to be a writer and if I really wanted to do it. I answered after I met my uncles friend that writes for the Daily News. The answer was to reapply for jobs and now I am a staff writer.
It is so weird, how we know all the answers already but sometimes we need someone that we don't know to tell us. After reading this book, I feel refreshed. I feel ready to sit down and do some writing. I am ready to face the fear of the unknown and just write about it.
One of the biggest things she constantly brought up was how writers constantly use an excuse to do something other then write but she refused to give into these excuses. If you want to write, then write. Just pick up the pen and start writing. Who cares what it is. Shut up and write.
Although I never read the book before, I felt that I had. Answers that she wrote about in her book seemed so familiar to me but upon reflecting, I realized that I had been answering all these questions on my own. The questions about why I wanted to be a writer and if I really wanted to do it. I answered after I met my uncles friend that writes for the Daily News. The answer was to reapply for jobs and now I am a staff writer.
It is so weird, how we know all the answers already but sometimes we need someone that we don't know to tell us. After reading this book, I feel refreshed. I feel ready to sit down and do some writing. I am ready to face the fear of the unknown and just write about it.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Between the pages
I just finished reading "The Count of Monte Christo" and I am once again reminded why I enjoy reading the classics more then modern novels.
There is just something on each of those pages that has been forgotten in our time, something that is so rare to find among the pages of todays books.
I have found upon researching the novel, that while each story is different, they follow the same pattern. In a romantic novel, two strangers meet and they fall in love. Something will threaten that love and test their relationship but in the end, most of the time anyway, they live happily ever after. The same is true for each genre, in horror or fantasy, etc, you can undoubtedly find a pattern. Eventually it becomes boring.
However, when I delve into the classics, into a time before there was 'structure' to writing, I find that every page leaves me guessing what will happen next. I cannot even guess because most times I am totally wrong. By the time I finish, I completely in awe of these former masterminds. How could they have weaved such a tale so deeply?
Every page of Monte Christo left me holding my breath and I flew through each page wanting to know how he would seek his revenge and how each person life had ultimately interwoven with the next. It wasn't until the last page, that I took that breath and closed the back flap with the sense of awe that always fills me.
Some laugh at the classics, thinking they are a thing of the past, something that is long forgotten. Yet, they would be wrong. The classics should be read every day, if not to remind us of our history but to give us a learning experience like no other.
There is just something on each of those pages that has been forgotten in our time, something that is so rare to find among the pages of todays books.
I have found upon researching the novel, that while each story is different, they follow the same pattern. In a romantic novel, two strangers meet and they fall in love. Something will threaten that love and test their relationship but in the end, most of the time anyway, they live happily ever after. The same is true for each genre, in horror or fantasy, etc, you can undoubtedly find a pattern. Eventually it becomes boring.
However, when I delve into the classics, into a time before there was 'structure' to writing, I find that every page leaves me guessing what will happen next. I cannot even guess because most times I am totally wrong. By the time I finish, I completely in awe of these former masterminds. How could they have weaved such a tale so deeply?
Every page of Monte Christo left me holding my breath and I flew through each page wanting to know how he would seek his revenge and how each person life had ultimately interwoven with the next. It wasn't until the last page, that I took that breath and closed the back flap with the sense of awe that always fills me.
Some laugh at the classics, thinking they are a thing of the past, something that is long forgotten. Yet, they would be wrong. The classics should be read every day, if not to remind us of our history but to give us a learning experience like no other.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Some good advice
Even though I am in the middle of reading The Count of Monte Cristo (which is a great read!), I started reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Just like in the store, the book just seemed to say READ ME! I already read through 3 chapters which are short (14 pages in) and I'm already feeling inspired.
The first chapter she discusses the importance of writing tools. She advises to get a pen that is loose flow since when your ideas are flowing through we don't have time to write slowly. She uses the Sheaffer fountain pen which is funny because I was looking at them myself. When I was younger, I used to write with a quill pen that was inspired from Jo in Little Women. As for paper, the point is to experiment to find what is for you. She uses spiral notebooks with funny characters on them so that you can write freely or as she says write what is junk. I prefer a composition notebook myself or a legal pad.
In the next chapter she discusses your first thoughts. She advises writing practice sessions including timed sessions. Start out small and after a week increase the time.but whatever time you give you have to commit and for that period
1)keep your hand moving (don't pause to reread the line you have just written. That's stalling and trying to get control of what your saying)
2)Don't cross out (that is editing as you write. Even if you write something you didn't mean to, leave it.)
3)Don't worry about punctuation, grammar, spelling and don't even worry about staying in the margins and lines on the page.
4)lose control
5)Don't think. Don't get logical
6)Go for the jugular ( if something comes up in your writing that is scary or naked, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy.)
-natalie goldberg
She explains writing as a practice in her next chapter.
I tried this when I went on the cruise in May on the one day that I did sit down and write. It worked. I wrote for a good hour without worrying. I didn't think about what I was writing but I just kept at it. I forgot even where I was. As I got past those first thoughts it became easier and I just kept writing. It was so inspiring.
I am loving this book so far but I'm taking it one chapter at a time and trying out her advice. Tonight, after reading those first three chapters which ended with her telling the reader to stop right now and write whatever they were thinking and I wrote two full pages in my journal about my eye and ended up with how much work that I had at work. It was good not to think completely what I was writing. I felt liberated!!!
The first chapter she discusses the importance of writing tools. She advises to get a pen that is loose flow since when your ideas are flowing through we don't have time to write slowly. She uses the Sheaffer fountain pen which is funny because I was looking at them myself. When I was younger, I used to write with a quill pen that was inspired from Jo in Little Women. As for paper, the point is to experiment to find what is for you. She uses spiral notebooks with funny characters on them so that you can write freely or as she says write what is junk. I prefer a composition notebook myself or a legal pad.
In the next chapter she discusses your first thoughts. She advises writing practice sessions including timed sessions. Start out small and after a week increase the time.but whatever time you give you have to commit and for that period
1)keep your hand moving (don't pause to reread the line you have just written. That's stalling and trying to get control of what your saying)
2)Don't cross out (that is editing as you write. Even if you write something you didn't mean to, leave it.)
3)Don't worry about punctuation, grammar, spelling and don't even worry about staying in the margins and lines on the page.
4)lose control
5)Don't think. Don't get logical
6)Go for the jugular ( if something comes up in your writing that is scary or naked, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy.)
-natalie goldberg
She explains writing as a practice in her next chapter.
I tried this when I went on the cruise in May on the one day that I did sit down and write. It worked. I wrote for a good hour without worrying. I didn't think about what I was writing but I just kept at it. I forgot even where I was. As I got past those first thoughts it became easier and I just kept writing. It was so inspiring.
I am loving this book so far but I'm taking it one chapter at a time and trying out her advice. Tonight, after reading those first three chapters which ended with her telling the reader to stop right now and write whatever they were thinking and I wrote two full pages in my journal about my eye and ended up with how much work that I had at work. It was good not to think completely what I was writing. I felt liberated!!!
Do you have a pocket muse?
As some can tell by my past posts, I have been suffering from writer's block for quite some time. I have the urge to write but when I sit in front of the computer, there is just nothing. But while I was browsing among the shelves at Barnes and Noble the other day, I came across a book called Writing Down the Bones Freeing the Writer Within
I don't know how I noticed it when I wasn't even looking for a book like that. It was in the middle of one of the tables they have set up in the middle of the aisles and it was among notebooks and planners. You could say it was a table for writing. Anyway, smack in the middle was this glaring white book that I was drawn to. I flipped to the back and I didn't consider it to be a great read but something would not let me put it down. I figured it was a sign so I held on to it.
This piqued my curiosity so I asked customer service where the writing books were and she directed me. As I browsed among the shelves and at first didn't come up with anything but upon reading each individual title, I came upon two books that will help me find my story.
The Pocket Muse: Ideas and Inspiration for Writing. Not only does it give you tips about writing but it gives you little writing prompts so you can tune into your idea center. For example: a character arrived at work to find her chair missing. What happened to it? It tells you how to look at an object that you would never think of writing about such as a stray key in the junk drawer. What did it once open? Begin to write. One that I found interesting is looking in the Bible. Tempt Adam with a corvette rather an apple or place Lot's wife at the school board meeting. So many interesting ideas that has my head spinning. Why couldn't I think of that.
I also found The Pocket Muse 2: Endless Inspiration for Writers which is a continuation of part 1 but it gives you more tips about the effort of writing and what to do when your about to give up.
Finding these books were a god send. Just flipping through and reading a few tips my brain was already filled with story ideas. Of course I had to buy them. Even if I didn't read them entirely, at least seeing them next to me on my desk would keep me at ease and I would have something to turn to when I get stuck.
I can't wait to start writing again!
I don't know how I noticed it when I wasn't even looking for a book like that. It was in the middle of one of the tables they have set up in the middle of the aisles and it was among notebooks and planners. You could say it was a table for writing. Anyway, smack in the middle was this glaring white book that I was drawn to. I flipped to the back and I didn't consider it to be a great read but something would not let me put it down. I figured it was a sign so I held on to it.
This piqued my curiosity so I asked customer service where the writing books were and she directed me. As I browsed among the shelves and at first didn't come up with anything but upon reading each individual title, I came upon two books that will help me find my story.
The Pocket Muse: Ideas and Inspiration for Writing. Not only does it give you tips about writing but it gives you little writing prompts so you can tune into your idea center. For example: a character arrived at work to find her chair missing. What happened to it? It tells you how to look at an object that you would never think of writing about such as a stray key in the junk drawer. What did it once open? Begin to write. One that I found interesting is looking in the Bible. Tempt Adam with a corvette rather an apple or place Lot's wife at the school board meeting. So many interesting ideas that has my head spinning. Why couldn't I think of that.I also found The Pocket Muse 2: Endless Inspiration for Writers which is a continuation of part 1 but it gives you more tips about the effort of writing and what to do when your about to give up.Finding these books were a god send. Just flipping through and reading a few tips my brain was already filled with story ideas. Of course I had to buy them. Even if I didn't read them entirely, at least seeing them next to me on my desk would keep me at ease and I would have something to turn to when I get stuck.
I can't wait to start writing again!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Makings of a Workaholic
What is a workaholic?
Dictionary.com defines it as a person who works compulsively at the expense of other pursuits or someone addicted to work.
I wouldn't say that i'm addicted but I have found several occasions where I have worked at the expense of other pursuits including my own health.
Take today for instance, I went to the emergency room this morning because my eye was swollen shut after it had started swelling yesterday. Turns out I have a bug bite and I'm on a bunch of antibiotics and steroids to bring down the inflammation and swelling. I got a work note from the ER abstaining me from work for 2 days. I even have to go back to the ER in 2 days to get check.
I called my boss who said I can work from home. She even told me that if I don't feel up to it tomorrow to do the same. She left it up to me whether to do to meetings but she said that I didn't have to since it was nothing I couldn't make a phone call with
So what do I do? That's right I went to a meeting in Eatontown tonight and I am going into the office tomorrow.
As I was sitting home today, I began to pace and it was really bothering me that I was going to miss one of my meetings. I had one in Matawan and one in Eatontown and although Matawan had the big story, Eatontown was closer and had more on the agenda. So I went to Eatontown. I just wore sunglasses.
The makings of a workaholic?
I am also the first one of my team in the office every day. Even though we don't have a specific time to be in and everybody else comes in after 11, I am in at 930 of 10 depending on traffic. I also stay late most days till about 4 or 5.
The makings of a workaholic?
I bring my work home with me and I check my email constantly when I'm at home.
The making of a workaholic?
Some may say that I'm just passionate about my job but when does being passionate border on obsession? And the craziest thing is that I enjoy every minute of work. I am bored when I am at home. I don't know what to make of it.
What is to be done?
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A Fight Over Censorship
So yesterday, I am at work when I recieve a phone call from someone (refrain from saying who) who was in an office of power in one of my towns. He was upset about one of my stories about a project going on in town. Plans for one part of the project had gone through and I reported on it. Later in my article I mention future plans that have yet to be discussed.
I told him to wait while I went to get the article but my editor took call instead since she makes all the editing decisions. Next thing I know she is scolding on the phone.
Apparently this guy was upset about the article because it made it seem that the whole project had went through. It is no secret that this guy is opposed to the whole project and often fights the town mayor about it when it comes up. What it came down to and my editor called him out on it was that since he didn't agree with it then we shouldn't report on it.
"You are trying to censor what we print and I'm not going to allow it!" my editor told him on the phone.
The best is he had a problem with what the mayor had said and was angry at the fact that we printed it. Now he is trying to control who I talk to. Not going to happen.
Apparently, he and another guy have tried to do this before with the previous reporter but the reporter stood up to him. My editor thinks that because I'm new and a female, they think they can intimidate me. I don't think so. It's time to pull out the punching gloves.
Come on! I'm ready for this fight!
I told him to wait while I went to get the article but my editor took call instead since she makes all the editing decisions. Next thing I know she is scolding on the phone.
Apparently this guy was upset about the article because it made it seem that the whole project had went through. It is no secret that this guy is opposed to the whole project and often fights the town mayor about it when it comes up. What it came down to and my editor called him out on it was that since he didn't agree with it then we shouldn't report on it.
"You are trying to censor what we print and I'm not going to allow it!" my editor told him on the phone.
The best is he had a problem with what the mayor had said and was angry at the fact that we printed it. Now he is trying to control who I talk to. Not going to happen.
Apparently, he and another guy have tried to do this before with the previous reporter but the reporter stood up to him. My editor thinks that because I'm new and a female, they think they can intimidate me. I don't think so. It's time to pull out the punching gloves.
Come on! I'm ready for this fight!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Photographer? Who me?
For those who know me well, photography isn't exactly my forte. In fact my family has come to learn that I am not the person to rely on to get pictures at a function. Either I forget something such as charging my battery or I just take god-awful pictures with someone's face cut off or poor picture quality. The biggest complaint is that I don't take enough photos.
My brother is the known photographer of the family. He likes to document every minute when he comes down to visit from California. Every meal he makes us wait until he takes a picture or if we go somewhere, we have to pose so he can take a picture. I just roll my eyes and walk away. There is seriously no need to document every minute. My theory is how many pictures can you have of the same people. I don't need to remember what they look like brushing their teeth.
However, recently things have started to change. As the news room is getting busy with the new school year and the upcoming elections, us reporters are finding that we are relied on to take our own pictures. We only have so many photographers and they cant be in the same place at the same time. At first, I groaned. Me? Take a picture? Ummm I dont think that is such a good idea. But I had no choice.
Is my battery fully charged? Check. Is the media card empty? Check. Is the media card in the camera? check. Is the camera in my bag? Check. I went down my checklist over and over again until I was in the car on my way to my assignment and knew the camera was beside me. Then it was time for the actual picture taking. The moment of truth. Could I take a fairly decent picture when it came down to work?
The answer: YES! On my first assignment, my job used two of my photos for the article. I couldn't believe it. One actually came out fairly well (right). When I had first looked at the picture, I thought, eh its just nets on the ground. After a second look, I realized that capturing the boats in the background gave the picture a whole new depth. Apparently, my job thought so too and I got paid for my photos.
That's right: I got paid for my photos. It's nothing major, just a few bucks. At least it's something and it pays for breakfast! LOL.
That assignment was just the start. In the past two weeks, I have been asked to take my camera for a few assignments and have gotten paid for 5 photos. It may not seem like much but for a reporter who only writes about 6 articles a weeks, its alot. Here are a few of the others:
My brother is the known photographer of the family. He likes to document every minute when he comes down to visit from California. Every meal he makes us wait until he takes a picture or if we go somewhere, we have to pose so he can take a picture. I just roll my eyes and walk away. There is seriously no need to document every minute. My theory is how many pictures can you have of the same people. I don't need to remember what they look like brushing their teeth.
However, recently things have started to change. As the news room is getting busy with the new school year and the upcoming elections, us reporters are finding that we are relied on to take our own pictures. We only have so many photographers and they cant be in the same place at the same time. At first, I groaned. Me? Take a picture? Ummm I dont think that is such a good idea. But I had no choice.
Is my battery fully charged? Check. Is the media card empty? Check. Is the media card in the camera? check. Is the camera in my bag? Check. I went down my checklist over and over again until I was in the car on my way to my assignment and knew the camera was beside me. Then it was time for the actual picture taking. The moment of truth. Could I take a fairly decent picture when it came down to work?
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| Gear at the Co-op in Belford which will be recycle for energy |
That's right: I got paid for my photos. It's nothing major, just a few bucks. At least it's something and it pays for breakfast! LOL.
That assignment was just the start. In the past two weeks, I have been asked to take my camera for a few assignments and have gotten paid for 5 photos. It may not seem like much but for a reporter who only writes about 6 articles a weeks, its alot. Here are a few of the others:
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| The Coe Estate in Middletown that will be a learning center for children with autism |
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| The new tree house at the playground |
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| The new playground area at Wolcott Park in Eatontown. |
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Perfect Work Bag
The question that I have been trying to answer for the past few weeks is "What constitutes a good work bag?"
Usually, I use a tote bag as a purse. They are big which allows you to carry more stuff and the various pockets and sleeves allow you to keep your stuff organized. However, the past few assignments that I have been on, I've been using my old college messenger bag and as the days go by I have found that I'm liking it more and more.
While tote bags are fashionable, I have found that they are bothersome when I have to multi-task in the field. A messenger bag allows me to drape it across my shoulder leaving both hands free, and if I have to get something, I have easy access. Whereas, when I carry my tote, I have to stop what I'm doing and rummage through.
So with a messenger bag as my bag of choice now, I am on the search for a new one. While I absolutely love my college bag, it is starting to show its age and I need something professional. I have been searching the internet and came across several I like.
Those are the top five picks and now it's time to decide which one I want to buy. Decisions Decisions.What do you think?
Usually, I use a tote bag as a purse. They are big which allows you to carry more stuff and the various pockets and sleeves allow you to keep your stuff organized. However, the past few assignments that I have been on, I've been using my old college messenger bag and as the days go by I have found that I'm liking it more and more.
While tote bags are fashionable, I have found that they are bothersome when I have to multi-task in the field. A messenger bag allows me to drape it across my shoulder leaving both hands free, and if I have to get something, I have easy access. Whereas, when I carry my tote, I have to stop what I'm doing and rummage through.
So with a messenger bag as my bag of choice now, I am on the search for a new one. While I absolutely love my college bag, it is starting to show its age and I need something professional. I have been searching the internet and came across several I like.
Kenneth Cole Reaction "Busi-Mess Essentials" - Single Gusset Flapover Messenger Bag -$129.95
- Smooth leather outer material
- Shoulder strap can be fully adjusted to suit multiple carrying lengths.
- large front gusseted zippered pocket.
- Main compartment opens wide for quick and easy access
- two pen/pencil holders, two open-top pockets, and one zippered pouch within the interior.
- Dimensions: 16" wide x 5" deep x 13" high
Le Donne Leather Distressed Leather Quick Access Messenger - $127.20
- Two large slip pockets under flap
- Dual compartment
- Organizer compartment for cell phone/pda, pens, business cards
- Rear zipper pocket
- Adjustable strap with pad has a maximum drop length of 24 inches
- Antique hardware
STM Bags Scout Small - $52.00
- High-density foam padded laptop section to protect from external abuse
- Secure buckle closure for main bag
- Velcro closure over laptop section
- Cushioned felt laptop lining
- Utility pocket for accessories
- Front document pocket
- New stm design shoulder pad for carrying comfort
- Holds most 13" laptops
Bellino Leather Messenger - 95.99
- Beneath the flap-over closure, you will find a roomy open pocket with a full organizer to hold a pda, ipod, cards, pens and memory stick.
- Its spacious main compartment is fully lined, with a detachable key ring, and a linear zip pocket to keep personal items secure
- An exterior rear zip pocket runs the length of the bag and has additional space for a phone, pens and other small items.
- The carry handle and adjustable strap are both padded for comfort. brushed metal fixtures.
Bellino Messenger Bag -$63.99
- The mix of 18 ounce cotton canvas and rich columbia leather, accented with cream stitches and antique brass fittings, makes this messenger irresistible, and its features make it a must-have
- Beneath the flap over closure, you will find a spacious open pocket, packed with pockets for a phone, pda, cards, pens and a memory stick
- A large zippered pocket in the back secures personal items. a padded, adjustable shoulder strap and a handle wrapped in leather complete it.
Those are the top five picks and now it's time to decide which one I want to buy. Decisions Decisions.What do you think?
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Perfection vs. Procrastination
There is a saying that practice makes perfect, but I don't feel that applies when I am writing. Sure, I have seen improvements in my writing as time goes on but there is still that gnawing feeling every time I hand in an article that there is something not right, or that something can be better.
I know that nobody is the perfect writer but that doesn't stop me wanting to be perfect. And there lies my trouble. Perfection. OCD. Whatever you want to call it, I think I have it. I know that in some ways it is a good thing because it has helped get where I am today but at the same time I think it hurts me in the sense that I waste time worrying.
I want everything to be perfect so instead of just writing something and handing it in, I always dawdle over it. I will find the smallest detail and find it to be wrong or that it has to be fixed. Sometimes, I think that is why I wait till the last minute to write up my articles. I don't have time to think, just do. Sure in the back of my mind I constantly think that everything is wrong but there is nothing that I can do about it. But that leaves me with my next problem of stressing myself out.
In waiting till the last minute, I mainly stress about getting the piece done in time. I work furiously, snapping at people who interrupt me, constantly grasping at each minute as it passes by. I stress that I am not writing something the right way and that if I didn't wait so long I could have done it better. I want to cry when something isn't coming out right but I have no time to fix it. I bite my lip as I wait for my editor to read the piece and pick out the smallest details that I failed to see.
But then, surprisingly she will turn to me and say that it is fine.
I still haven't figured out what to make of my dilemma. Perhaps, I shouldn't worry too much and just let things take me to where they will but at the same time, that worrying helps me get things done the right way. Perhaps I shouldn't try to be a perfectionist because noone is perfect, especially in writing, but does it really hurt to try? After all, what doesn't hurt you, only makes you stronger. Perhaps, waiting till the last minute has made my writing perfection because I don't worry about those little things.
This ramble probably doesn't make much sense, but it has been something I have been thinking about more and more lately as I finally realize why I haven't written anything in the past two years. Now that I am forced to write due to my job, I constantly have to make the decision, whether to start right away and deal with my perfectionist attitude, or just push it aside till deadline when I give half-assed work and pray that it will suffice.
I know that nobody is the perfect writer but that doesn't stop me wanting to be perfect. And there lies my trouble. Perfection. OCD. Whatever you want to call it, I think I have it. I know that in some ways it is a good thing because it has helped get where I am today but at the same time I think it hurts me in the sense that I waste time worrying.
I want everything to be perfect so instead of just writing something and handing it in, I always dawdle over it. I will find the smallest detail and find it to be wrong or that it has to be fixed. Sometimes, I think that is why I wait till the last minute to write up my articles. I don't have time to think, just do. Sure in the back of my mind I constantly think that everything is wrong but there is nothing that I can do about it. But that leaves me with my next problem of stressing myself out.
In waiting till the last minute, I mainly stress about getting the piece done in time. I work furiously, snapping at people who interrupt me, constantly grasping at each minute as it passes by. I stress that I am not writing something the right way and that if I didn't wait so long I could have done it better. I want to cry when something isn't coming out right but I have no time to fix it. I bite my lip as I wait for my editor to read the piece and pick out the smallest details that I failed to see.
But then, surprisingly she will turn to me and say that it is fine.
I still haven't figured out what to make of my dilemma. Perhaps, I shouldn't worry too much and just let things take me to where they will but at the same time, that worrying helps me get things done the right way. Perhaps I shouldn't try to be a perfectionist because noone is perfect, especially in writing, but does it really hurt to try? After all, what doesn't hurt you, only makes you stronger. Perhaps, waiting till the last minute has made my writing perfection because I don't worry about those little things.
This ramble probably doesn't make much sense, but it has been something I have been thinking about more and more lately as I finally realize why I haven't written anything in the past two years. Now that I am forced to write due to my job, I constantly have to make the decision, whether to start right away and deal with my perfectionist attitude, or just push it aside till deadline when I give half-assed work and pray that it will suffice.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
My First Two Weeks
I started working for the newspaper on July 18th and I couldn't be happier. My first two weeks have went by so fast and I feel like I have been there forever.
My first week was a little slow but that is to be expected since I am new and nobody knows me. It was all about getting my name out there. I had to call all the towns that I am to cover and introduce myself. I had my first council meeting that week and I already made contacts in Aberdeen with the mayor and the police chief. I only handed in one article but like I said, it was all about getting my name out.
The pace quickly picked up the second week. I had two meetings which gave me a few articles to write up. I went on a boat on Friday for an environmental group who is creating the first survey map of the Raritan Bay. Surprisingly, it made front page.
I can't be happier. I am right where I want to be. To get up everyday with a mission and a purpose makes me feel important. I get dressed in business attire and take the hour drive to the office, stopping at Dunkin along the way to get a bagel and an iced T. Then I walk in and sit at my desk and start the day,. checking emails and making phone calls before I settle down to write for an audience that relies on me to give them the facts. It gets kind of daunting at times but I love it anyway. I am on top of the world!
My first week was a little slow but that is to be expected since I am new and nobody knows me. It was all about getting my name out there. I had to call all the towns that I am to cover and introduce myself. I had my first council meeting that week and I already made contacts in Aberdeen with the mayor and the police chief. I only handed in one article but like I said, it was all about getting my name out.
The pace quickly picked up the second week. I had two meetings which gave me a few articles to write up. I went on a boat on Friday for an environmental group who is creating the first survey map of the Raritan Bay. Surprisingly, it made front page.
I can't be happier. I am right where I want to be. To get up everyday with a mission and a purpose makes me feel important. I get dressed in business attire and take the hour drive to the office, stopping at Dunkin along the way to get a bagel and an iced T. Then I walk in and sit at my desk and start the day,. checking emails and making phone calls before I settle down to write for an audience that relies on me to give them the facts. It gets kind of daunting at times but I love it anyway. I am on top of the world!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Finally Given a Chance
There is no feeling in the world then when you get done with an interview and is offered the job on the spot. Every thing inside seems to swell like a balloon until your ready to pop. It takes everything to not shout for joy and do a jig right there.
This is exactly how i felt yesterday.After two years of applying for job after job with no success, my time finally came. For the past couple of weeks, I kept getting this restless feeling that I should apply for some jobs. I was taking that guys advice and started to be motivated and pushy. So I went on Craigslist and sure enough there was a job for a staff writing position in Freehold covering Monmouth and Middlesex Counties. However, the post didn't say what publication it was for. I told my mom, that if I didn't hear anything I was going to personally go to the Greater Media Publications building in Freehold and hand them my resume. I didn't have to.
The next day, I received an email from the editor of Greater Media Publications saying that she had been forwarded my resume and my experience at my internship was very relevant to want this position did. She proceeded to tell me all about the position, the pay, and the benefits. I knew that this time it was going to be different. Right away, everything already was. For one thing, it was a woman that emailed me back and in the past, it was always males that interviewed me. Second, she described the job in full detail in the email as if I had the job already. Usually, you don't get the details until you are actually on the interview. Something inside told me this was it but I tried to keep those feelings at bay. I didn't want to count my chickens until they hatched.
I went on the interview yesterday and as soon as I walked in the door, I knew that this was where I wanted to be. The room was spacious, way bigger then my internship and I could just see myself sitting at one of those cubicles. The editor that I have been in contact with through email for the past week walked up and introduced herself. She was surprisingly elderly and I thought that my chances for landing this had just rise two-fold. Right away the editor began chit chatting with me about Toms River and how she lived there. I felt at ease and the nerves that had sprung up when I first came had completely disappeared. We talked for about ten minutes before we finally made our way to the conference room where she began to ask me about my internship and the things that I had covered and written about. She was happy with everything I told her and kept saying that my experience was exactly what she was looking for.
Then she said that she wanted me to do a quick writing excercise. That is when I momentarily panicked. I wasn't good at doing spur-of-the-moment tests. She must have seen my face and said not to worry, that it was a quick goofy thing that she liked to give people. I was thinking "Great!" When I got the paper and I first read through it, I momentarily thought, "Omg how am I going to write this?" I had completely forgotten how to write an article. I was rusty after two years of not doing it and I told the woman so. However, I forced myself to calm down and remember the 5 w's. As I started to write, it was slow but I managed to get through it.
While I was writing this, I knew that I was probably getting the job because the editor introduced me to the human resources manager. Why would they do that if I wasn't getting the job? When I fiinished with the little test, the editor reviewed it quickly and said that she wanted to offer me the job. She said to take a day or two to think about it and discuss it with my parents but I told her right off the bat that I wanted it.
The job is perfect and exactly what I wanted. I will be making a dollar more then what I'm making now, which I know isn't much but its the experience that I need and what I will get. They have flexible hours and they don't work the weekend. I get full benefits, vacation, sick leave, personal days, and a 401k. How can I beat that? Finally, my career has started.
This is exactly how i felt yesterday.After two years of applying for job after job with no success, my time finally came. For the past couple of weeks, I kept getting this restless feeling that I should apply for some jobs. I was taking that guys advice and started to be motivated and pushy. So I went on Craigslist and sure enough there was a job for a staff writing position in Freehold covering Monmouth and Middlesex Counties. However, the post didn't say what publication it was for. I told my mom, that if I didn't hear anything I was going to personally go to the Greater Media Publications building in Freehold and hand them my resume. I didn't have to.
The next day, I received an email from the editor of Greater Media Publications saying that she had been forwarded my resume and my experience at my internship was very relevant to want this position did. She proceeded to tell me all about the position, the pay, and the benefits. I knew that this time it was going to be different. Right away, everything already was. For one thing, it was a woman that emailed me back and in the past, it was always males that interviewed me. Second, she described the job in full detail in the email as if I had the job already. Usually, you don't get the details until you are actually on the interview. Something inside told me this was it but I tried to keep those feelings at bay. I didn't want to count my chickens until they hatched.
I went on the interview yesterday and as soon as I walked in the door, I knew that this was where I wanted to be. The room was spacious, way bigger then my internship and I could just see myself sitting at one of those cubicles. The editor that I have been in contact with through email for the past week walked up and introduced herself. She was surprisingly elderly and I thought that my chances for landing this had just rise two-fold. Right away the editor began chit chatting with me about Toms River and how she lived there. I felt at ease and the nerves that had sprung up when I first came had completely disappeared. We talked for about ten minutes before we finally made our way to the conference room where she began to ask me about my internship and the things that I had covered and written about. She was happy with everything I told her and kept saying that my experience was exactly what she was looking for.
Then she said that she wanted me to do a quick writing excercise. That is when I momentarily panicked. I wasn't good at doing spur-of-the-moment tests. She must have seen my face and said not to worry, that it was a quick goofy thing that she liked to give people. I was thinking "Great!" When I got the paper and I first read through it, I momentarily thought, "Omg how am I going to write this?" I had completely forgotten how to write an article. I was rusty after two years of not doing it and I told the woman so. However, I forced myself to calm down and remember the 5 w's. As I started to write, it was slow but I managed to get through it.
While I was writing this, I knew that I was probably getting the job because the editor introduced me to the human resources manager. Why would they do that if I wasn't getting the job? When I fiinished with the little test, the editor reviewed it quickly and said that she wanted to offer me the job. She said to take a day or two to think about it and discuss it with my parents but I told her right off the bat that I wanted it.
The job is perfect and exactly what I wanted. I will be making a dollar more then what I'm making now, which I know isn't much but its the experience that I need and what I will get. They have flexible hours and they don't work the weekend. I get full benefits, vacation, sick leave, personal days, and a 401k. How can I beat that? Finally, my career has started.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Words of Wisdom
Two weeks ago I had to attended my Aunt and Uncle's 50th Anniversary party, where by chance, a friend they know that works for the Daily News, happened to be there. Of course, my family introduced m e knowinng the difficulties I have been having trying to find a reporting job. The guy ( I don't want to mention names) was really nice and gave me some good advice, words that I haven't heard since I was in school.
He told me that unfortunately the newspaper industry was slowly on the decline and that trying to find a job would be difficult. That I had to be pursuant and constantly plague the people who work there. Don't take no for an answer and personally hand them a resume and cover letter. Could that really be what has been holding me back? Now that I look back on it, I realized that I could have been more motivated and pushy. I should start with my internship. Why wouldn't they hire me? According to my evaluation where I got mostly fives, I had improved a lot in my writing. Perhaps, instead of just accepting the fact that they might not have gotten my emails or that they just didn't want to hire me, I should have went there and talked to the editor. If he didn't want to see me then demand a interview or something.
There is also the local, non-profit newspaper that writes for each town. I always go on the website but never see any "hiring" posts and had just accepted that. I am thinking of taking a drive and doing as that guy said. Hand them a resume and cover letter personally. What is the worst that can happen? I have been told no many times. What is one more?
Another thing that guy had mentioned was that I should consider going into broadcast. He said that I had the face for it. I had never thought about, always assuming that I didn't have what it took. However, I did enjoy broadcasting class back in school and had considered it then. But I wanted to write and so put it on the back burner. So why not now? Obviously the newspaper thing hasn't been working, so why not persue broadcasting and open a door that could lead to many paths.
While thinking about all this, I had to do some reflecting. The main question was Did I really want to write still? Did I really want to persue this path still? The answer was yes! Even though there were days when thinking about writing left me feeling exhausted and that I didn't want to do it, I found myself still going online and searching for those jobs? Was it just out of extinct? I don't think so. Every time there was a post that had some potential my heart would start to beat and I would get excited. If I didn't want to do it I don't think that I would feel this way.
The other question that I asked myself was "What was I going to do about the writing gap on my resume." It has been two years since I graduated and haven't done any professional writing, which is what what hurt me the latest interview that I went on. The guy kept bringing it up and I knew that was one of their concerns. I have been trying to get into the freelance stuff but with no luck and as you can probably see from the space in these post, blogging hasn't been a natural forte. However, I think that is going to change.
My friend Travis, with whom I work with, is currently in a band. They are just newly formed and have just won the competition to go to warp tour. Yet, yesterday when I went to their show at the local fire hall, I watched as they struggled to sell the last of their tickets so that they can play (they had to sell at least 25 to save their spot in the show). Most of their audience of 25 was close personal friends, but what about fans? Then it hit me, I should start blogging about them. For some time, we have been discussing me interviewing them but I didn't know what to do with it. But as I watched them. the ideas starting to pour in. It would be a win-win situation. He would get the promotion his band needed to get out there and be heard and my writing would be read. I have not made any definite decisions yet but I am leaning more into doing it.After all, the only one stopping me is me.
He told me that unfortunately the newspaper industry was slowly on the decline and that trying to find a job would be difficult. That I had to be pursuant and constantly plague the people who work there. Don't take no for an answer and personally hand them a resume and cover letter. Could that really be what has been holding me back? Now that I look back on it, I realized that I could have been more motivated and pushy. I should start with my internship. Why wouldn't they hire me? According to my evaluation where I got mostly fives, I had improved a lot in my writing. Perhaps, instead of just accepting the fact that they might not have gotten my emails or that they just didn't want to hire me, I should have went there and talked to the editor. If he didn't want to see me then demand a interview or something.
There is also the local, non-profit newspaper that writes for each town. I always go on the website but never see any "hiring" posts and had just accepted that. I am thinking of taking a drive and doing as that guy said. Hand them a resume and cover letter personally. What is the worst that can happen? I have been told no many times. What is one more?
Another thing that guy had mentioned was that I should consider going into broadcast. He said that I had the face for it. I had never thought about, always assuming that I didn't have what it took. However, I did enjoy broadcasting class back in school and had considered it then. But I wanted to write and so put it on the back burner. So why not now? Obviously the newspaper thing hasn't been working, so why not persue broadcasting and open a door that could lead to many paths.
While thinking about all this, I had to do some reflecting. The main question was Did I really want to write still? Did I really want to persue this path still? The answer was yes! Even though there were days when thinking about writing left me feeling exhausted and that I didn't want to do it, I found myself still going online and searching for those jobs? Was it just out of extinct? I don't think so. Every time there was a post that had some potential my heart would start to beat and I would get excited. If I didn't want to do it I don't think that I would feel this way.
The other question that I asked myself was "What was I going to do about the writing gap on my resume." It has been two years since I graduated and haven't done any professional writing, which is what what hurt me the latest interview that I went on. The guy kept bringing it up and I knew that was one of their concerns. I have been trying to get into the freelance stuff but with no luck and as you can probably see from the space in these post, blogging hasn't been a natural forte. However, I think that is going to change.
My friend Travis, with whom I work with, is currently in a band. They are just newly formed and have just won the competition to go to warp tour. Yet, yesterday when I went to their show at the local fire hall, I watched as they struggled to sell the last of their tickets so that they can play (they had to sell at least 25 to save their spot in the show). Most of their audience of 25 was close personal friends, but what about fans? Then it hit me, I should start blogging about them. For some time, we have been discussing me interviewing them but I didn't know what to do with it. But as I watched them. the ideas starting to pour in. It would be a win-win situation. He would get the promotion his band needed to get out there and be heard and my writing would be read. I have not made any definite decisions yet but I am leaning more into doing it.After all, the only one stopping me is me.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
My Absence
It seems that I have forgotten to blog in quite awhile. The truth is I let life get a hold of me and interrupt the stuff that I enjoy doing most...that is until recently.
I finally had a day off this week where I was able to just sit around and relax, something I haven't done in quite awhile. I found that as soon as I got let my mind ease from the everyday trials that plague my mind, I suddenly thought of writing. Of course, instead of getting up to do just that, I found that I couldn't. I just didn't have the motivation or the ideas to keep me stimulated. Besides, what is the point of starting something when I know that life is going to interrupt tomorrow. The way I figure it is I need to find a way to organize my schedule so I can have a time table for writing before I can actually write. I also need some more relaxation time so that I can gather my thoughts.
In two weeks I am hoping to get the inspiration that I need to remember why I enjoy writing, something I seem to have forgotten. I am going on a cruise to Bermuda for 7 days where I plan to use the time to myself to get some writing done. I will be able to get away from work and home life and be able to focus on just me. It will give me a chance to do some real reflecting and put my story together. There have been loads of ideas building up in my head waiting to escape but have been locked up. This cruise should give me the key I need to unleash that flood.
I finally had a day off this week where I was able to just sit around and relax, something I haven't done in quite awhile. I found that as soon as I got let my mind ease from the everyday trials that plague my mind, I suddenly thought of writing. Of course, instead of getting up to do just that, I found that I couldn't. I just didn't have the motivation or the ideas to keep me stimulated. Besides, what is the point of starting something when I know that life is going to interrupt tomorrow. The way I figure it is I need to find a way to organize my schedule so I can have a time table for writing before I can actually write. I also need some more relaxation time so that I can gather my thoughts.
In two weeks I am hoping to get the inspiration that I need to remember why I enjoy writing, something I seem to have forgotten. I am going on a cruise to Bermuda for 7 days where I plan to use the time to myself to get some writing done. I will be able to get away from work and home life and be able to focus on just me. It will give me a chance to do some real reflecting and put my story together. There have been loads of ideas building up in my head waiting to escape but have been locked up. This cruise should give me the key I need to unleash that flood.
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